Thursday, 23 September 2010


Here i am. Trying to write again, trying to understand again, trying to think. And i still don't know if i'm writing in a correct way but even like that i want to do it.
Here i am, with time. Time to look through the window and discover how gray can the sky be. It is raining and is not as cold as it should be. it is raining and i'm sick, but physically sick. And maybe i'm sick of this. I don't know, there are so many thoughts crossing my mind some of them are warm and some of them no too much. One of them is that i have been thinking or perhaps realizing that as a result of my mother's dead, i want to be with my family. Before this i used to think that my mother was the only chain that i had to Colombia. That my mother was going to be the only reason to stay there. But now i know that it is not true. Now i know that my mother wasn't the mother was the excuse. And now i'm saying that she was the excuse because now i know that my family is the only chain that i don't want to break. My family (all of them). Sister (the best one), cousins, ants, uncles, grandmother (the strongest one), nieces (i have decided to be like that) are all the best. I think my time here is getting to the end. I think it is time to come back and share my life with them, but for real not virtually. I think it is time to let them know face to face that i will be there with them, that like my mother, i will be one of the link of the family. I don't know when exactly i'm going to be there, but it will be soon.
The future...i don't even want to thing about that, but i'm doing it. I don't know what to do or how to do it, but i have discover here that the life that i want to live it is not exclusive of London, it is not exclusive from europe. Now i know that the life that i want to have i can have it anywhere...and surprisingly i have discover that i could live even in my home town. I know it is a small city and maybe it will be difficult to find a job there, but at least i will try. And i will try (but i'm not saying that i do gonna live in Manizales), but if i do it at least i will have my family and one of the best friends that i have ever had. And i know that with my experiences and my attitude i will be able to do it.
Sorry if i'm not writing in prose or in an nice way, but today i just want to write as if i was talking with someone. I just want to do something nice in this cold, wet and humid morning.
And the last issue for today is going to be friends.
Here in London i have met people... a lot i would say. But the best is that i have met people that today is my friend. As i have said before, i never felt part of any group. In some way i envied all this people who had group of friends. I never understood why i couldn't have it. Because i always thought that i was a nice person. Ok but this is not the pint here...the point is that here now i have a group of friends. People who call me if there is any plan, people who miss me and who love being with me. People who are my family here. maybe i don't talk with them all the time, but are people who are there for me... Thanks to london i know what it is like...and because of this i feel stronger...
Ok, it's time to go...


  1. : ) I love you!!! I will feel very happy if you decided to come back to your home town!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Cami, mucha nostalgia en tus palabras! finalmente has sido capaz de muchas cosas, eres una persona fuerte, de corazón grande y sobre todo, muy trabajador. Que rico que quieras disfrutar de tu familia, que bueno que quieras darle una nueva oportunidad a este País y que quieras estar con las personas que tanto te quieren.
    un abrazo giganteeeeeee!
    yo también me alegro por esta noticia!

  3. Cami, me encantó! Me parece que estas en un encuentro contigo mismo, y ese encuentro duele, pero a la vez alivia. Eres mi amigo del alma y todo lo que hagas por tu felicidad, mas que por tu felicidad por tu tranquilidad es lo correcto. Y si devolverte a Colombia es lo que tenias que entender estando en Londres, espectacular. Todo es aprendizaje. Y todo es crecimiento. Te admiro y me siento orgullosa de ti, de la forma en que miras al mundo y encaras las situaciones.

  4. Mi camis hermosooooo, todo lo que escribes tan lindo!!! Yo siempre he creído que uno es del lugar donde estén sus afectos, sea un pueblito o la gran capital. Cambiar, conocer, experimentar enseña mucho, pero al final "uno vuelve siempre a los viejos sitios donde amo la vida"....
    Donde estés tu sabes que todos nosotros estamos contigo...pero como dices la realidad es mejor que la virtualidad y tenerte aca seria LO MAXIMO!!!!!